Why Sean Avery Is The Norm Macdonald Of Hockey

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By Dave Cunning

With the recent news that Sean Avery being returned from his AHL banishment to the New York Rangers, I immediately thought of a similar, non-hockey event, which seemed to match the scenario almost perfectly. 


Does anyone remember when Norm MacDonald was fired from Saturday Night Live in 1997, but then was brought back a year and a half later to appear as guest host?  If not, look it up on Youtube, it’s a spectacle.  Below is the written transcript:

BetOnHockey_Norm_Macdonald_350x350.jpg“When the people here asked me to do the show, I've got to say, I felt kind of weird. I don't know if you remember this, but I used to actually be on this show… a year and a half ago, I had sort of a disagreement with the management at NBC. I wanted to keep my job.  And they felt the exact opposite. They fired me because they said that I wasn't funny. Now, with most jobs, I could have had a hell of a lawsuit on my hands for that, but see, this is a comedy show. So, they got me. But, now, this is the weird part, it's only a year and a half later, and now, they ask me to host the show. So I wondered, how did I go from being not funny enough to be even allowed in the building, to being so funny that I'm now hosting the show? How did I suddenly get so goddamn funny?! It was inexplicable to me, because, let's face it, a year and a half is not enough time for a dude to learn how to be funny! Then it occurred to me: I haven't gotten funnier, the show has gotten really bad! So, yeah, I'm funny compared to, you know, what you'll see later. Okay, so let's recap, the bad news is: I'm still not funny. The good news is: The show blows! Alright, folks, we've got a bad show for you tonight!”

And so here we are with Sean Avery.  About a month ago, Rangers head coach was quoted as saying, “we have better players than Sean Avery right now”, and promptly demoted Avery to the Rangers’ AHL affiliate.  Now, not a year and a half later, but only a month later after toiling in the minor leagues, either John Tortorella or Glen Sather (or possibly both) have come to the conclusion that they don’t have better players than Sean Avery, saying bringing him back now “is the right decision”, and are planning to return him to the Rangers’ line-up after clearing re-entry waivers (that is, if no other teams swipe him, ala the Red Wings/Islanders Nabokov fiasco). 

BetOnHockey_Sean_Avery_350x350.jpgSo if Avery’s thinking anything like Norm thought, he’s got to be saying to himself, “In a month, how did I go from not being good enough to even be allowed in the arena, to being so good I’m back on the starting roster?”  Then it might occur to him as well, it’s not that he hasn’t gotten better, it’s that the Rangers have gotten bad.  Yes, it is early still, but sitting at 17th overall, and one spot out of the playoffs right now in the Eastern Conference, the Rangers are currently mediocre at best.

 Though it’s probably due to injuries on the Rangers roster, it’s fun to think that the recall might have something to do with the entire Madison Square Garden crowd chanting “We Want Avery”, and bringing signs requesting Tortorella be sent to the Connecticut Wale instead.  Great players have had their names chanting during games they put on memorable performances, but when was the last time a hockey player had their name chanted and presence requested by a mass audience, while said player wasn’t even in the state at the time? 

Business in the NHL is about to pickup folks; the attention seeking/grabbing/bothersome-pest/entertainment-piece is en route back to the NHL.  I for one can’t wait to hear his first monologue.  Err, I mean, interview.

 

NHL BET PREDICTION: Avery and Tortorella do not finish the season on the same roster.


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